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How do I know that my relationship with God is toxic? What does being in a toxic relationship even mean? Well that’s why I wrote this post so that we can all learn
What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship is what I call a parasitic relationship, it involves two or more parties where one is growing at the expense of the other.
It is a kind of relationship where the parasite always request for all the attention, time and communication but never gives it’s back to the host.
This kind of relationship does not last because the host becomes exhausted and dies from the parasitic influence of the parasite.
Before we dive deep, I will like to explain what being in a relationship with God truly means.
What does it mean to be in a relationship with God?
To be in a relationship with God means several things to different people.
But in simple terms, to be in a relationship with God means you have intimacy with him
To be truly in a relationship with God, you have to
1. Give your full attention
To give Attention to a person or thing is quite different from spending time with that person or thing.
As a matter of fact, you can spend time with someone and not really pick what’s wrong or going on with the person, this is because you are either not listening or paying attention.
To be in a relationship with God means you are paying keen attention to what he is saying and what he is not saying.
This is where most of us get it all wrong, we keep asking, requesting from God without even listening to what he has to say.
Relationship shouldn’t be toxic, you shouldn’t be always requesting, you should always try to listen.
God speaks, we just don’t listen because our heart has taken a posture that can receive but request.
Yes, to get closer to someone, you need to spend time with that person.
Attention and time walks hand in hand but they are quite different from each other.
Attention means you are listening to what your spouse or fiancee is saying.
The more attention you give, the more time you spend.
Love takes time.
Having explained this, please let’s proceed to the next subject which is
How do I know that my relationship with God is toxic?
A whole lot of us are in a toxic relationship with God, and I am not left out of that page.
I just discovered recently that I was the only one in my relationship with God, God was there, but there was no audience, I didn’t allow him speak.
All I did was talk, requested and most times I never listened.
I never learned to pay attention at all, all I did was pray, sing, talked, requested but never really paid attention.
It was like that until recently, I listened to a message that was focused on paying attention to God, I just had to re-examine my supposed relationship with God and in the long run I discovered how far I had cheated God.
It just isn’t unfair for us to be talking all of the time and not listening to what the other party has to say.
Well it’s same with God, it just isn’t unfair that we do 99% of the talking and leave 1% to God, that’s cheating,
I was sorry for always paying no attention to God and I asked for his forgiveness and mercy.
How do I know that I am in a toxic relationship with God?
I have listed a few but key symptoms of a toxic relationship and they include:
I am always talking and not paying attention to what’s been said
One of the best ways to know that you are in a toxic relationship with God, is that you don’t pay attention, all you do is grumble, lay your petition and walk out.
That isn’t right, when we talk, we should learn to listen, that might be very difficult to do, but we can unlearn the habit of talking too much and relearn the habit of listening.
Spending time with God
Let’s be sincere with ourselves, how do we feel when our partner is always giving excuses about spending time with us?
You say hey babe, can we go out for lunch?
He says hmmm! I am in the middle of something right now, I can’t go out and this continues for days, weeks and month, to be honest, how would you feel?
I for one would feel rejected, pained and hurt.
How then does God respond when we do not spend time with him?
Be open to him
Most of us talk a lot and at the end we say nothing.
We talk to God about our families, our businesses etc, but we do not talk to him about that weakness, about that tingy feeling we have.
The Bible said something quite intriguing, it says
In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:6 NKJV)
It means you should talk to him about every details of your life.
The same way we go into details of our life while we talk to our spouse or friends is the same way we should talk to him.
He knows, is that what you think?
He truly knows, but if you do not ask, probably it wasn’t urgent.
Studying God’s word
How is this a measure of my relationship with God?
A whole lot of persons brings their mindset, knowledge, culture into Bible study, and don’t get the best out of it.
We think we can interpret scriptures ourself, the truth is we can’t.
We need the help of the Holy Spirit to guide us into the truth hidden in God’s word.
Having established this, let’s move a bit further
How can I build my relationship with God
To build your relationship with God, there are several measures you should ensure.
- Always communicate with God
Communicate with him about everything, keep God updated about every details of your life.
- Pray always
How is this possible? In your tight schedule you always find a way to communicate with babe, right.
God Is quite different, you know why? You can talk with him in your thought, he listens.
If you don’t feel comfortable with this method, you can just whisper to him, say something sweet to him as you would to a lover.
- Pay attention
After you must have engaged God in prayers, always wait on him, you can engage him in discussions, ask how his night went? How are the holy Angels doing? Listen, please Listen, he speaks.
I hope you enjoyed this post on how to build your relationship with God? I ask that the Holy Spirit reveal to you where things are wrong in your relationship with God.
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